Counselling

Lincolnshire Co-operative Funeral Services offer free bereavement counselling from our Bereavement Support Service which is facilitated by professionally trained and supervised counsellors who are engaged by the Lincolnshire Centre for Grief and Loss (LCGL). This page gives you more information about the service.

What is counselling?

This is a confidential process within which a therapeutic relationship is established between client and counsellor. This special relationship enables the client to talk about the unmanageable psychological and emotional effects of grief and loss.

The counsellor offers an honest, genuine and non-judgemental attitude to the client, giving an opportunity for exploration and resolution of painful issues.

How do I get support from the service?

Shortly after the funeral you will receive a letter from us making you aware of our continued support. This is part or our Funeral Services after-care facility, and is offered as a point of contact to be used when, and if, appropriate for yourself or any member of your family.

Stages of grief

We understand you may be experiencing a range of emotions at present, so we have described the 'recognised stages of grief' identified in research, which may help you feel less isolated.

Shock, numbness & disbelief

This stage protects us from the reality of death to give our mind and body a chance to accept what has happened in a gradual way. During this time many people do not feel anything or show any outward signs of grieving. This state may evoke feelings of misplaced guilt and disloyalty as the bereaved are unable to experience the impact of the loss at this time.

Expression of grief

Reality is beginning to break through, with awareness that the deceased is not physically present and that life has to be faced without them. Some people may experience severe anxiety, panic, sobbing, loneliness, guilt, lack of concentration. Anger and aggression may manifest themselves. Anger at the injustice of the loss; the inability of others to understand; that if things had been done differently the deceased would not have died - but actually, the anger redirected towards others. Slowly, these feelings will be rationalised and things will begin to make sense with the acceptance that life is not always fair.

Remembering past events, although sometimes painful, can also bring comfort from happier times. Gradually, these comforting memories will be more prevalent than the distressing remembrances.

It may help to talk about your feelings and emotions to prevent them from being buried within. In time, this acute distress will become more manageable.

Depression and apathy

Emotions and feelings can be suppressed, which in turn may lead to feelings of isolation. Thinking that no one understands the depth of your despair and the way you are unable to cope with your loss may lead to depression and a 'what is the point' attitude. It is hard to work to get through everyday life, but with talking through your feelings and making use of support and encouragement, these feelings should slowly lessen.

Signs of recovery

There is a gradual recognition that there is life going on around you, and that you are part of this life. It is understood that you will never 'get over' your loss, but you will slowly learn to live with the memories of your loved one in a special place within your thoughts. This person will never be forgotten and should never be forgotten but your grief will begin to heal and you will be able to emotionally and physically reinvest in life around you. Now is the time to reach out and form social contacts and interests.

It is emphasised that these stages of grief, although alarming and painful, are NORMAL and vital to HEALTHY GRIEF and RECOVERY.

Important things to remember are:

Your experience of grief is unique to you. There is no right or wrong way to do it and there is nothing you should not allow yourself to feel.
Do not set a time scale for your grief process - it takes as long as it takes.
Share your feelings and emotions - make use of the support around you.
Any loss of emotional or physical well-being should be shared with your GP.
Church ministers are experienced in communicating with, and giving comfort to bereaved people.
Befriending organisations and social groups are a valuable resource in times of loss.

Our counselling service can be contacted at any time on 01522 546168.

LCGL Support for all

This is a support group which provides an opportunity to meet and chat with others who have experienced loss in their lives. The group welcomes anyone who has experienced loss through bereavement, separation etc.

The group meets on a monthly basis. Please call 01522 546168 for further details.